Monday, January 10, 2005

Thinking too much

My junior high school teacher once commented that I thought too much.

He was right.

I am constantly filled with random thoughts, some of which ends up here.
They may just be harmless day dreaming, but sometimes they are my self-evaluations, second guesses and destructive worrying.

Normally, this would only lead to my own improvement, entertainment and let downs.
However, today, I confirmed my worry that my thoughts also hurt others, especially my loved ones.

I feel so bad. I wish I can undo the damage.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a great movie.
Not only was it great to watch, it presents an idea of taking ex-lovers off our minds.

It may not be such a bad thing, considering the advantage of avoiding hurting who I love the most now. Of course, it's still fiction for now, but I wonder if I can do the same.

To let the thought about a previous relationship undermine my current one is a really stupid mistake, and I feel so bad about it.

What appeared to be harmless curiosity and care about a close friend to me, apparently stirred doubts, even after it had passed my mind.

1 comment:

m_whiz said...

we need to talk - call me when you are done school today