For the past 8 months, I have been working on something with someone. Today, this all comes to an end.

What have I gained? A lot actually.
Just like most thing that I deal with in live, I managed to examine myself by discussing and convincing someone what I believe in.

My values and priorities have been closely reviewed.
My expression and time management skills have been challenged.
I has been a tough balancing act that I needed to pull, and I failed.

This is not the ending that I wished, but I can honestly say that I tried my best.
Perhaps I chose a goal that is not attainable.
Perhaps I chose tried too many challenges at the same time.
There are somethings that can't be given up once we started them, even when we want to.

No, what I did was not meant to be a challenge, but it can be viewed as such.
I did not look for any "gains". I just wanted to give, and that's what I did.
I also needed some help, and I got it. Thanks to that someone that I care dearly for.

I am thankful to that someone for trying it out with me.
It would have been nice to keep trying, but I am satisfied with what's we've done.
Perhaps, it's all for the better.
Perhaps, some other time then. I am always up for it, if I can.

The underpaid job with a decent pay

Some say my job has a decent pay, yet most of my colleagues and I would disagree.

Yes, the figure is decent, but what about the effort?

Yes, we don't have a boss asking us to give weekly quotas, but we have multiple quotas and deadlines to meet daily.

Yes, we don't have to deal with office politics as much as others, but we have to deal with a lot more bullshit policies.

Yes, we don't have rude customers to deal with, but we do have to motivate some 150 people daily to do what most don't want to do.

Yes, we don't have to stay late at work, if we choose not to, but we bring home the work instead! (Do you have to work 13 hours a day, 7 days a week? I hope you don't.)

Yes, we seem to have more holidays that others, but do you know that we still work during the "holidays"?

Yes, I am saying we are underpaid.

Attitude is Everything!

Somehow, I managed to change my attitude towards work.

Perhaps I achieve less, but at least, I feel much better now.

Less quantity, but higher quality, I hope.

Doing things that I believe is good for the students.

Sometimes I hope that issues in life are more manageable, but then, a little challenge in my otherwise dull life, wouldn't hurt, would it?

Rest In Peace, Mr. Shakespear Tsang

Shakespear was a fellow student of teachers college in my university last year.

He passed away on November 11, after our commencement ceremony.

He was definitely one of the most dedicated teachers I have met.

He was hard working, kind and very devoted in teaching.

His death is a loss for us all.

The school where I teach is Shakespear's alma mater. It is also where he did his practicum.

A poster was put up in the school just recently. It shows the quotes "A mediocre teacher tells. A good teacher explains. A superior teacher demonstrates. An excellent teacher inspires."

Shakespear was an inspiration.

May God bless his soul. May he rest in peace.

Rainy Days

May be it's the rain, or may be it's the dark sky.

I am in a bad mood.

My job spares me no time. My lover wants more of my time. She needs it. I know, but I can't give. This just hurts me so much.

I am way off balance.

Quit? I can't. It's not the best option for the career.

Rant about it? Not good either. It lowers my efficiency, and causes my work to take up even more of my time.

I need more spare time to do well in my job and get back my life. My job needs more of my spare time. Damn Catch 22 situation!

Perhaps, it's not the rain after all.

Getting on my nerves

I have a tendency to think too much.

I tend to create problems for myself.

or so I was told.

What should I do with my job? Is good pay and stability all I need from it?

What if I am not happy with what I do? "Make yourself happy with you job", some say.

Should I not quit because it would be viewed as giving up when faced with a challenge?

Does it mean that I am not strong enough simply because I chose not to "suck it up"?

I honestly think that I would perform better in another job. The problem is, I probably won't get it.

Life sucks sometimes.

The grass is greener on the other side

It's about time. The evaluations of my job performance, both internal and external, are coming.
It's also time when I look back and evaulation what I have been doing for the past 1.5 months.
Priorities changed. Time managment changed. Sometimes, I just can't believe that it has been that long. "I should be glad that I have a job", I tell myself. "Don't think too much. Just do it." That's what I did. More or less.

Somethings worked out okay. Some didn't. Some tough choices to make. What do I value more? Career (especially one that I may not stay for long)? My relationship with others (who may stay with me longer)? Do I have to make this compromise? Can I juggle all these balls? Here lies the challenge.

A wise person reminded me today. "The grass is greener on the other side" when evaluting my career paths. It's important not to fool myself. True, but should I give up evaluating?

2 Months

It has been that long again since I blogged.

Why? A lot have happened. So much that I am having difficulty handling them all.

Am I doing the right things? Am I thinking too much?

Am I the only one involved in my decisions now?

Which is more important? A job? A possible alternate career? A girlfriend?

Trust my instincts? My guesses were almost all correct. So predictable that perhaps I WAS thinking too much.

I need to spice up my life, or I may go crazy soon.