Decisions Decisions Decisions

Sometime ago, I evaluated my not so favourable work future and decided to take what I thought to be a leap of faith to see if I can build a career away from my original path.

I stopped studying my programme relocated to another country and, thanks to the stars aligning, studied another field and got a job with one foot up the career ladder.
I avoided the direct blow from the financial market disaster and still kept a stable job.

Stable as it is, it demanded a lot.  While being a temporary contract worker, I had to overcome a lot of challenges, especially as a newcomer to the field.

At that time, with the future being uncertain, I took on another challenge and studied towards a different direction.  Soon after, the financial market started failing.  Nevertheless, I finished what I started, but wouldn't have much luck if I wish to find a job in that field.

A stroke of luck got me into a permanent position from a temporary one, and hence, the stability.  Yet, with that positions come more responsibilities.  Facing with a transition in production, everyone was stressed. 

Changes and responsibilities certainly too its toll.  My health have been deteriorating.  Was it because of the stress? Definitely!  Was it because of the way of life?  I think so.   How do I improve it?  Exercise, I was told.  Easier said than done, when you are as exhausted as I was at the end of a work day.  When did my work day finish?  Late at night.  The work that was not finished was taken home, and finished inefficiently.  My Saturdays were used to rest and Sundays were used to finished up unfinished business.  In peak seasons, both days were used to complete work.

Another stroke of luck came, thanks in that most part to the support of understanding supervisor, when I got a temporary assignment to a different type of work.  It has its fair share of challenges, but less stress.  This gave me a welcomed relief, and time to think.

As it is a temporary assignment, I will have to return to my original position soon.   This assignment also give me a chance to look at some of the other jobs in the field, and it offers me more time to look around for another job.

I am at crossroads, once again.  The story of my life.
Interesting, this time, it feels much more like a leap of faith.
In economics, it can be explained as having a high opportunity cost.

Should I try to enter the same field in my original country?
The lifestyle and work atmosphere certainly seems better.
The biggest problem, though, is whether I can get a job in that field.
Even if I got one, what would that be?  A contract occasional worker? 

It's like jumping off the middle step of a ladder into a mud puddle and getting on the slippery first step of another ladder.  If I fall, can I return to the first ladder? May be, but then I would have to start fresh again, starting from the mud puddle.

Would my health improve after I got over this challenge?  I hope so.  Will it get worse as I face this challenge? I don't know.
Am I worrying too much? You bet.
Will it pay off in a long run?  I hope so, but I don't know.

I guess I am not as faithful as I hope to be, and hence, I am not as peacefully as I wish I am.

Two phrases come to mind now:
(1) "Aal izz well" from the movie "3 idiots"
(2) "Carpe Diem" the motto of my alma mater.

Yet they seem to be counter productive in this case.

我自問

A reflection, but is this true about mine? I hope not.

我自問

主唱: 古巨基
作曲：雷頌德
作詞：林夕
編曲：雷頌德
監製：雷頌德

我笑說　我會一世養你
竟感到累你　親一親彷似交戲
我讚你　連沉默都優美
竟使你動氣　竟不想我看你
可能我想得比較多
事實上你喜歡我　有幾多
愛到太累沒法復原　似當初
說句笑亦能講錯

＊我自問了解我為人
　心思仔細　才有幸跟你蜜運
　憑好心專心真心小心愛到你多放任
　若是努力善良難再吸引
　我並未了解我情人
　怎麼興奮　才會自覺共我總算合襯
　雙手握緊都握不到些安全感
　你教我怎樣做人＊

我愛你　愛到不見了我
得心裡滴血　聲咅比哭更清楚
我悔過　情人若珍惜我
肯將錯就錯也會換來諧和
可能我　犠牲得太多
現實是我比起你　愛更多
我怕你是為了寂寞
至許可　對你這樣迷戀過

Repeat ＊

我這個性叫你拿自己在上
這樣子共處肯定不能長
難愛我也想你恨
不自量　繼續是否牽強
多麼蠢都應知道要識相　智慧縱不夠

我自問了解我為人
顧著別人　忘記自己那命運
唯一懂忠心苦心不懂對你放膽去問
問問伴著我哪裡吸引
我漸漸了解我情人
怎麼興奮　無法用愛共我真正互吻
些少好感　假裝相愛多麼殘忍
與我已不是情人　無情但誠懇

千個太陽

This is an old song, which I heard to day in a fund raising performance in Hong Kong for the Taiwan disaster.
A very nice song, indeed.

千個太陽(葉德嫻／陳潔靈)

曲︰M.GORE／D.PITCHFORD
詞︰林振強
編︰ROMEO DIAZ

葉：MY FRIEND　今天你如何
難得一起齊高歌這歌
從不懂解釋我為何　在你友愛內尋到火
年頭匆匆的飄過　甜苦都許多
風波雖各自去闖　而兩心未分過
甚慶幸　又再逢　就算離開過

陳：琴聲跟心聲同行　彈出一首如火的愛歌
原因心中一個良朋　共我再見面和我歌
年頭匆匆的飄過　甜苦都許多

風波雖各自去闖　而兩心未分過
合︰伴我行　是友誼　是太陽千個

合：真開心可跟你對望　內心閃出光
若然開心哭了　請你原諒
明天不管將會如何　晴天陰天仍高歌這歌
從不懂解釋我為何　在你友愛內尋到火

葉：年頭匆匆的飄過　甜苦都許多
陳：風波雖各自去闖　而兩心未分過
合：伴我行　是友誼　熱我心　是你一個
無人可　吹得熄　火太陽千個

Suddenly "Rare"

About 7 months ago, I made the switch to Apple. The then new 13" Aluminum Macbook caught me. I have been enjoying it ever since. I feel a bit special, as do most other mac users, I guess. We are, well, different. Mac OS has been great, everything works well. The duo boot feature also allow me to see how much does Windows suck. Of course, the fact that it is an Apple tuned computer does make it a bit biased.

A few days ago, however, I realize how even more special I am. I am one of the group who own the "rare" 13" Aluminum MacBook! Why? Cause Apple decided to rebrand them as Macbook Pro! The new "Pro" gets the larger capacity, non-removable battery and Firewire 800 port. Other than that, it's the same as the "Macbook" I have.

So that makes me more special! I guess I should be happy.

to mac or not to mac

For the past two months, I have been actively looking for a notebook computer. I found one that seemed to be a bargain. It was the Lenovo X200 Tablet. I was supposed to wait for its delivery for a month, because I ordered it before it was officially launched. To my disappointment, I found out that the model that I ordered did not include a touch screen that can be used with bare hands. It required a digitizer pen. This is a reverse in technology on lenovo's part. So after a bit of persuasion, I finally got a refund arranged. Yes, in Hong Kong, where refunds are not common. Anyhow, this brings me to my current dilemma: to mac or not to mac.

The timing has actually got me thinking of the possibility of getting a MacBook. Previously, I didn't choose it because it was outdated for the price, but now that it has just been updated on Oct 14, it got me thinking.
Looking at the specs, whether I should pay the premium of 40% for the aluminum chassis, glass multitouch touchpad and cleaner design.
Performance wise, I would still lack the power of a dedicated display card.

If I were to spend the same amount of money, I would be running a notebook that seems better in performance:

Bigger screen at 15.4" with better resolution, 1920 x 1200
Quicker CPU at 2.53ghz vs 2.4ghz at double the Level 2 Cache
Extra Card Reader, Express Card expansion and Firewire (IEEE1394a) port
I can even get HDMI and Blu-ray disc player.

Of course, there is also the trade off of an extra 0.5kg and 1 hour less battery life.

The Mac OS is also a mixed bag. Surely it may be user friendly and looks nice, but it requires it own set of software. Running both OS X and Vista on a Mac is an option, but should I bother?

Will the experience grow on me? Is there more to it for using Mac?

Should I trade performance for style? Or should I go further to save my $$$ by getting a PC with Macbook's specs?

To Mac of not to Mac, that is the question.

More Chinese than ever

These days with the Olympics in full action, I found myself cheering for the Chinese National Team and Hong Kong SAR Team more than the Canadian Team. Perhaps it's because I have been watching the coverage of these teams by the local stations instead of the Canadian team. Frankly, I would cheer for all of them.

There is a sense of national pride in the air. Hong Kong people has never been a patriotic bunch. We are brainwashed to be so by the British to avoid riots against colonization . The Chinese are now very careful not to do too much of national unity education, since we are not that receptive to it.

The Olympics brings the whole country and all of Chinese around the world together in a positive way. National pride is high. Despite so called "insider reports" of the training of the athletes by the western media, the support for them doesn't change. Really, how else can you achieve great and consistent results without plain ol' hard work? It's not much of a secret within the athlete community.

Another interesting note from a Globalization perspective: A significant amount of the athletes and coaches are from similar origin, but representing different countries. The best athletes from one country would because citizen of another. With no limits on the switching of citizenships, are we still keeping with Olympic spirits?

Batman - Dark Knight

Watched it. It was okay. The performance of the actor/actress were great. The story was sad, but true to Batman's theme.

An observation: Bruce Wayne / Batman in Hong Kong.

As far as I recall, this is the first Hollywood movie featuring Hong Kong that does NOT have a sail driven fishing boat in it.

I used to laugh at the sight of it, but now, I wonder whether Hong Kong's heritage should be preserved this way?

Monitor for my life

Last week, my pal for 5 years decided that it is time to retire. My trusty ViewSonic simply refused to stay on. After some serious research, shopping and haggling, I got myself a Philips today. This one is a bit wider, which comes handy for back and forth referencing for my work. Yes, work. Yes, at home. Now I have this wide bad on both sides when viewing web pages.

I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be nice if we can get ourselves a bigger monitor for our lives?" My screen resolution is simply not enough lately. I guess I could use an upgrade too.

Time management

This is a skill which I know I am not brilliant at. However, I still want to vent some of my frustration about what comes with my job.

You see, technically, if I only work during my "normal" working hours, I have only an average of 2.75 hours desk time per day. Those 2.75 hours are not consecutive. It's usually a half hour, then an hour, then another hour separately.

I have all sorts of errants and ad-hoc duties to do. Not to mention the ongoing projects. I was told the even the most experience workers need the same amount of desk time as their "presentations" time. Those "presentations" take up about 3 to 3.5 hours a day. So where on earth do I get that extra hour or so? I am certainly not those more experienced workers, so I need even more time than that.

Some may say that I must have wasted that extra hour during my 7.5 hours (lunch not included) of work. The answer is, not really, I have a mandatory waiting time of 30 mins and about 30 mins for all the walking around and answering endless questions.

How do you think I can manage all that work that I am supposed to do? Well, like most others, I take work home. In fact, I do all my projects at home. It takes an average of 3 hours per day to do it. I also extend my working hours for about 1.5 hours per day voluntarily. My 5-day work week is really a 6-day one. I put in about 66-70 hours per week.

Some say that's not unusual, but many actually still think that I get off work early, and that's clearly not the case. For those who knew me from another country, guys, I get a salary here, just like most people. I get no overtime pay.

The next time you think that I am better off for having more holidays, please think again, I don't get to choose when I like my holidays. They are always during the peak seasons. I also work during a significant portion of my "holidays". My "sick-days" actually requires a doctor's note. I can't be late, at all.

Many of you get to office at 9 am, but you may only start working efficiently after your first coffee at 9:30. By then I already did 3 of my "presentations". I start at 8:15, sharp, everyday.

Some say I got a slightly better pay than others with career progression. I won't argue you on that, but please look at what kind of work I have to deal with.

As for my time management, I don't seem to have too much time for my "life". It used to be that I didn't have a "life". I just survived. Now, I am not doing too much better. I still routinely sleep 6-7 hours a day, pull a late-nighter (sleep at 04:30 and wake up at 07:30) about twice a month. Obviously, my health suffers, but with the challenge that I am dealing with, I doubt if I can do better soon enough.

Snail Mail

WARSAW (Reuters) - It's official. Postal delivery is as slow as snails, at least in Poland.

An IT worker, after receiving a letter on January 3 that was sent on December 20 as priority mail, calculated that a snail would have made it even faster to his home than the letter.

Daily Gazeta Wyborcza said Michal Szybalski calculated that it took 294 hours for the letter to arrive at his home. He also said the distance between his home and the sender was 11.1 kilometers.

Given the distance and the time, the speed of the letter was 0.03775 kilometers per hour. Szybalski calculated that a garden snail travels at around 0.048 kilometers per hour.

(Writing by Karolina Slowikowska; Editing by Ibon Villelabeitia)

Retrieved from Reuters Website on January 29, 2008
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN2423750920080124

old song

It has been a while since I heard the song "Never had a dream come true" by the British group "S Club 7".

What a nice song. I remembered I used to have this song in my hard drive. How come I no longer have it? That's because I deleted it when I couldn't stand the heartache it brought to me a few years ago.

By coincidence I got this song again. This time around, since I had recovered quite a while ago, the song just reminds me how special "LOVE" is.

Naturally, I filed the MP3 after another S Club 7 song on my playlist -"Bring it all back"

Both songs mean quite a lot to me. Perhaps it may mean something to you too.

The following links post the lyrics of the songs, if you are interested.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sclub7/neverhadadreamcometrue.html
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sclub7/bringitallback.html

i'm

Rainy Days

It has been rainy for the last couple of days. The sky has been dark, and the air has been humid.
This muggy weather is one of the reasons why I have such a low energy level.
Of course, the fact that I only slept for 2 hours on Friday didn't help.

My career path is once again at crossroads, and I feel like I should be more proactive.
Yet exploring all options is quite a daunting task. Something that needs a lot of my energy. Something that is in short supply for me lately.

Dealing with the multiple deadlines at work and a slight political disorder, while trying to live a balanced lifestyle have been difficult for me.

Judging by the fact that I slept only for 2 hours, but not because I have been partying, one can probably guess that I am not doing well enough.

I can see some light at the distant sea, and the wind is blowing my way. Hopefully, these dark clouds will dissipate soon, and give me some energy to deal with my life.

The Nomad in Me

While commenting on a fellow blogger, I realized that I have made no less than 20 moves since I entered university. Am I really such a Nomad?

Home
-> Hamilton, Mac Hedden Hall Sept 99-Apr 00
-> Hamilton, Mac McKay Hall May 00 - Jun 00
-> Toronto, Home Jul 00 - Aug 00
-> Hamilton, Mac Bates Rez Sept 00 - Apr 01
-> Hamilton, Bowman St House May 01 - Jun 01
-> Toronto, Home Jul 01 - Aug 01
-> Hamilton, Mac Bates Rez Sept 01 - Apr 02
-> Toronto, Home May 02 - Aug 02
-> Hamilton, Main St Apt Sept 02 - Apr 03
-> Toronto, Home May 03 - Aug 03
-> Hamilton, Mac Whidden Hall Sept 03 - Apr 04
-> Toronto, Home May 04 - Aug 04
-> Hamilton, Mac Bates Rez Sept 04 - Dec 04
-> Toronto, Home Jan 05 - Aug 05
-> Hong Kong, Cousin's Apt Aug 05 - Sept 05
-> Hong Kong, Baptist U Rez Sept 05 - Jun 06
-> Hong Kong, Cousin's Apt Jun 06 - Jul 06
-> Toronto, Home Jul 06 - Aug 06
-> Hong Kong, Cousin's Apt Sept 06
-> Hong Kong, Home Sept 06 - Now
projected
-> Unknown! Hong Kong? Toronto?

serial life

That thing that we ended was restarted after about a week.

Then something else ended yesterday. Something else will start on Sunday though.

Serial life indeed.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end."
--Semisonic

For the past 8 months, I have been working on something with someone. Today, this all comes to an end.

What have I gained? A lot actually.
Just like most thing that I deal with in live, I managed to examine myself by discussing and convincing someone what I believe in.

My values and priorities have been closely reviewed.
My expression and time management skills have been challenged.
I has been a tough balancing act that I needed to pull, and I failed.

This is not the ending that I wished, but I can honestly say that I tried my best.
Perhaps I chose a goal that is not attainable.
Perhaps I chose tried too many challenges at the same time.
There are somethings that can't be given up once we started them, even when we want to.

No, what I did was not meant to be a challenge, but it can be viewed as such.
I did not look for any "gains". I just wanted to give, and that's what I did.
I also needed some help, and I got it. Thanks to that someone that I care dearly for.

I am thankful to that someone for trying it out with me.
It would have been nice to keep trying, but I am satisfied with what's we've done.
Perhaps, it's all for the better.
Perhaps, some other time then. I am always up for it, if I can.

The underpaid job with a decent pay

Some say my job has a decent pay, yet most of my colleagues and I would disagree.

Yes, the figure is decent, but what about the effort?

Yes, we don't have a boss asking us to give weekly quotas, but we have multiple quotas and deadlines to meet daily.

Yes, we don't have to deal with office politics as much as others, but we have to deal with a lot more bullshit policies.

Yes, we don't have rude customers to deal with, but we do have to motivate some 150 people daily to do what most don't want to do.

Yes, we don't have to stay late at work, if we choose not to, but we bring home the work instead! (Do you have to work 13 hours a day, 7 days a week? I hope you don't.)

Yes, we seem to have more holidays that others, but do you know that we still work during the "holidays"?

Yes, I am saying we are underpaid.

Attitude is Everything!

Somehow, I managed to change my attitude towards work.

Perhaps I achieve less, but at least, I feel much better now.

Less quantity, but higher quality, I hope.

Doing things that I believe is good for the students.

Sometimes I hope that issues in life are more manageable, but then, a little challenge in my otherwise dull life, wouldn't hurt, would it?

Rest In Peace, Mr. Shakespear Tsang

Shakespear was a fellow student of teachers college in my university last year.

He passed away on November 11, after our commencement ceremony.

He was definitely one of the most dedicated teachers I have met.

He was hard working, kind and very devoted in teaching.

His death is a loss for us all.

The school where I teach is Shakespear's alma mater. It is also where he did his practicum.

A poster was put up in the school just recently. It shows the quotes "A mediocre teacher tells. A good teacher explains. A superior teacher demonstrates. An excellent teacher inspires."

Shakespear was an inspiration.

May God bless his soul. May he rest in peace.

Rainy Days

May be it's the rain, or may be it's the dark sky.

I am in a bad mood.

My job spares me no time. My lover wants more of my time. She needs it. I know, but I can't give. This just hurts me so much.

I am way off balance.

Quit? I can't. It's not the best option for the career.

Rant about it? Not good either. It lowers my efficiency, and causes my work to take up even more of my time.

I need more spare time to do well in my job and get back my life. My job needs more of my spare time. Damn Catch 22 situation!

Perhaps, it's not the rain after all.