Decisions Decisions Decisions

Sometime ago, I evaluated my not so favourable work future and decided to take what I thought to be a leap of faith to see if I can build a career away from my original path.

I stopped studying my programme relocated to another country and, thanks to the stars aligning, studied another field and got a job with one foot up the career ladder.
I avoided the direct blow from the financial market disaster and still kept a stable job.

Stable as it is, it demanded a lot.  While being a temporary contract worker, I had to overcome a lot of challenges, especially as a newcomer to the field.

At that time, with the future being uncertain, I took on another challenge and studied towards a different direction.  Soon after, the financial market started failing.  Nevertheless, I finished what I started, but wouldn't have much luck if I wish to find a job in that field.

A stroke of luck got me into a permanent position from a temporary one, and hence, the stability.  Yet, with that positions come more responsibilities.  Facing with a transition in production, everyone was stressed. 

Changes and responsibilities certainly too its toll.  My health have been deteriorating.  Was it because of the stress? Definitely!  Was it because of the way of life?  I think so.   How do I improve it?  Exercise, I was told.  Easier said than done, when you are as exhausted as I was at the end of a work day.  When did my work day finish?  Late at night.  The work that was not finished was taken home, and finished inefficiently.  My Saturdays were used to rest and Sundays were used to finished up unfinished business.  In peak seasons, both days were used to complete work.

Another stroke of luck came, thanks in that most part to the support of understanding supervisor, when I got a temporary assignment to a different type of work.  It has its fair share of challenges, but less stress.  This gave me a welcomed relief, and time to think.

As it is a temporary assignment, I will have to return to my original position soon.   This assignment also give me a chance to look at some of the other jobs in the field, and it offers me more time to look around for another job.

I am at crossroads, once again.  The story of my life.
Interesting, this time, it feels much more like a leap of faith.
In economics, it can be explained as having a high opportunity cost.

Should I try to enter the same field in my original country?
The lifestyle and work atmosphere certainly seems better.
The biggest problem, though, is whether I can get a job in that field.
Even if I got one, what would that be?  A contract occasional worker? 

It's like jumping off the middle step of a ladder into a mud puddle and getting on the slippery first step of another ladder.  If I fall, can I return to the first ladder? May be, but then I would have to start fresh again, starting from the mud puddle.

Would my health improve after I got over this challenge?  I hope so.  Will it get worse as I face this challenge? I don't know.
Am I worrying too much? You bet.
Will it pay off in a long run?  I hope so, but I don't know.

I guess I am not as faithful as I hope to be, and hence, I am not as peacefully as I wish I am.

Two phrases come to mind now:
(1) "Aal izz well" from the movie "3 idiots"
(2) "Carpe Diem" the motto of my alma mater.

Yet they seem to be counter productive in this case.