Congratulations, Mrs. Sister!

My dear little sister is getting married today. I wish her life continues to have joy and hope. May God be with her.
I would also like thank my other sister, who went to her wedding on my behalf. I really wish I can be there to share the joy, but life has to go on even when things don't turn out as I wished.

Too Sweet Dreams

For the last couple of nights, I have had the same dream featuring my recently separated better half and me in a garden oasis setting.
Right, garden oasis. It's a dream, so bare with me.
Details are strange but enjoyable, yet there is no point mentioning them.
Let me just say that they were nice, relaxing and warm.
Yes, warm. So why too sweet?
Well, the reality is that is has been freezing here and, just like I said, my better half has recently separated from me!
No matter how much I want to be with her, those were not real! I can't change the weather either, can I?

Weather

I have a theory. I think my emotion directly proportional to weather.
It has been an emotional week for me, and the weather has been bad.
It's snowing again today. I hope we see some nicer days soon.

It's been too long

since I have had some quality time with someone I really want to spend more with.
Today is a special day. I really want to celebrate it with her.

Great Sister

Just when I needed someone to talk to, my dear sister sensed it without seeing me for 3 weeks. She called me from overseas.

Thank God for blessing me with such a great sister. =)

I Screwed Up

Yes, big time. I hurt m_whiz, the one and only I love. It wasn't intentional.
I feel so bad. Really bad. I am so sorry.
Anyway, I don't want to say much. No mood.
Hope your relationships are better.

Pre-occupied

These days, I have been caring less and less about stuff. Besides the fact that things have stabilized a little in my life lately, I have been pre-occupied with my better half. She is constantly in my mind. I miss her so much. Perhaps she just needs time, but a massage should help ease her stresses too. I want to help her out on the other aspects of her life, but I don't know where to start. Hum...Headache.

What to do?

Have you ever hesitate to do things?
Yes, me too.
However, would you not try to improve something because you are afraid of losing what you try to improve? What if I tell you that if you do not try, things may never be the same?
Tricky, right?
I have some suggestions: Have faith. Give it what it's worth. Follow your heart.

Thinking too much

My junior high school teacher once commented that I thought too much.

He was right.

I am constantly filled with random thoughts, some of which ends up here.
They may just be harmless day dreaming, but sometimes they are my self-evaluations, second guesses and destructive worrying.

Normally, this would only lead to my own improvement, entertainment and let downs.
However, today, I confirmed my worry that my thoughts also hurt others, especially my loved ones.

I feel so bad. I wish I can undo the damage.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a great movie.
Not only was it great to watch, it presents an idea of taking ex-lovers off our minds.

It may not be such a bad thing, considering the advantage of avoiding hurting who I love the most now. Of course, it's still fiction for now, but I wonder if I can do the same.

To let the thought about a previous relationship undermine my current one is a really stupid mistake, and I feel so bad about it.

What appeared to be harmless curiosity and care about a close friend to me, apparently stirred doubts, even after it had passed my mind.

Fingers Crossed

I made my choice. A flexible one, I may add.
I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Wish me luck.
I wish I can keep my fingers crossed with someone else too.
Let's see when that happens. I hope soon. ;)

Cross-Roads

I have less than 36 hours to decided what to do in the next few months and years.
Too many options, each have pros and cons. Arrrrgg. I need more time.

Imaginary Friends

Because of my secret project today, I had dinner and a drink with my imaginary friends. Things didn't turn out as I wished.
Everything seems to be not running smoothly today.
In total, I waited for 6 hours out of 24 today.
Nevertheless, I got a few important things done.
I guess I can't expect too much.

Best Interests

I am thankful that someone has my best interests in mind. It was a good reminder to stand back and re-examine my choices. I may have strayed away from what I originally intended to do.

Speaking of best interests, when I heard my ex is about to get married, I had contradicting feelings. In a way, I am sad because I will never know if the future groom could have been me, had I make decisions differently. I am also worried if she has made a good choice, and if he is treating her as well as I did. On the other hand, I am telling myself that I should have her best interests in mind and support her and be happy for her. She should be wise enough to make a good choice.

Most importanty, had I decided differently, I probably missed my lovely current girlfriend.

Stress Relief Balls

They have helped me a lot through the years, but there are always things that they can't help much.
I am about to make a hole in the wall with the soft bean bag.

Why, oh why, do things almost always screws up after been so good for a while?
"Tough Luck," they say. Yeah, I totally agree. When does it ever end though?!

When will employers ever realize that they can have happier and more productive employees by being simply reasonable? You can try to see if someone is free and ask her to do unscheduled work, but never demand anyone to work with only 10 hours' notice. If someone calls in sick and other are not available, then they would have to do without him/her, or the manager should cover him/her. That's why managers get more pay. Be reasonable!

Okay, enough ranting. If I go any further, I will start swearing.

Hope your lives are going better.

Series of Best

I have experienced a series of Bests.
Best Christmas Ever.
Best New Year's Eve Ever.
Best New Year's Day Ever.
Best Week Ever.
and even Best Touches Ever.

Although other aspects of my life are not exactly thrilling, I hope this series leads the way for other great events. Last year was dismal, so I hope this year can provide some balance to it.

Happy New Year!
Hope your year will be great!